Judge-Tempest's avatar

Judge-Tempest

I hate my username.
7 Watchers11 Deviations
10.8K
Pageviews
I like Journal Entries, they're a nice way to talk to myself. Plus it's very easy now that my typing is finally faster than my writing, and I almost don't have to look at the keys.

I've missed writing a lot. Too much to explain really. There isn't a day that goes past that I don't think of things that I find interesting and think that I ought to write them down. The number of ideas I've had over the last two years and not written down is scary. I don't actually know how I managed to let them all slide past. There must've been some diamonds in the rough there, things worth getting down. That I've let them all go to waste is a shame.

That said, I'm trying not to dwell on it. I have a journal now. A real one, with physical pages and marks scratched into it with a pen. It's pretty nice actually, it's from Muji, like all my notebooks these days. You can get these little ones for just 60p, they're actually perfect. They fit in my pocket, the paper looks and feels nice, a nice off-white that's alost yellow in some lights and a nice thickness. They feel nice to write in and they're cheap and small which means I don't feel any guilt at filling them up with whatever comes to mind. When I've got a Moleskine that cost me about £7-8 it's easy to think "No, I won't write that, I'll save the space for something better."

I felt like I had to start writing again when I got to uni. It's not the best situation. I'm not exactly living with the best people at the moment. That's harsh, but fair. Of the people I live with I get on with some and get by without bothering with the others. My lectures and classes break up a sort of easy monotony that comes from having too much free time and wanting to avoid the work that should fill it.

I'm doing a degree in Politics and History. At the moment it's a Politics Single Honours, but at the end of the year I'll hopefully carry on with the History. Plus I'll get to pick modules, which will avoid the way I have to study the Tudors for the rest of the year now.

It's hard to keep focused on one thing right now. I have too many things to say. Things that usually go round and round in my head without any form of expression start to come to the surface once my hands begin to flash across the keys or slide over the page.

As time goes on I'll fill more and more pages of my journal (the real-world one), and as I do so I'll get more used to writing again. I'll gradually stop repeating myself and splitting my infinitives, I'll work out what needs saying on a page and what doesn't. I'l even start to plan and write things that aren't about myself.

I don't really have anything else to say right now, I'll come back to this some time.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Been a while, hasn't it?

I've not updated this in nearly 22 months. That's an unimaginably long time to ignore something I've wanted to do so often.

There's a DeviantArt button on my bookmarks toolbar, it's there with Hotmail and Gmail and Facebook and others. I look at it every time I click on one of the others, or on an RSS feed. I've been meaning to write for ever, just never got round to it. It's hard to believe I'm actually typing on this site again. There's still a lot of green though, that's nice.

I'm rambling. That's a nice phrase. I guess the reason I'm typing this after so much time is that I never stopped wanting to write, or being fascinated by language or the way that we make use of it, the little things that people say and don't mean or mean and don't say. I've spent a huge amount of time thinking of things I want to write, but I've let it all become a soliloquy, rolling around in my head until something dislodges it and I forget it entirely. Some people keep a notebook by their bed, so that they can get down anything that they've dreamt or that occurs to them late at night, save it for the morning. These dreamers of the night have the right idea, I've been doing it wrong, dreaming during the day and letting it slide. It's time I started using what I've got; an urge to write and a modicum of skill to do it with.

I bought a book on creative writing last Thursday or Friday with a book token card I got for Christmas. It's the first time I've read something like that, I'd always just muddled along doing what I did haphazardly, it'll be good to see how others say it should be done, and the tips I pick up can't hurt. Not more than not writing for nearly two years has. It's a release, and I need a release really. In my first term at uni I wrote more than I had in a long time, mainly whiny little things I call a journal (partly 'cause of this site, partly because it sounds more manly that diary). I got through five of these little notebooks I bought in Muji (gotta love Japanese stuff. That brand has serious style). I'm on my last one, but I ordered some more (to be delivered - I go to uni in Liverpool, and their nearest store is in Manchester) and I'm going to start writing things in them which aren't true, and creatively writing the things which aren't so that they become entertaining, or at least worth telling.

I don't know how long it'll take me to have something to write here. I've got a lot of work to do for my course (Politics and History at Liverpool Hope University) which I've been avoiding. Five hundred words of a document response, two thousand on "How far do you agree that Parliaments have lost power over the 20th Century?" It' nice to have work again. I had to take a gap year, and I was overwhelmed with time. There was time enough for anything I wanted to do, and I mostly sat around and ate and thought too much. I do less of those two things now, I spent the last term becoming leaner (mentally and physically) and adjusting to the fact that I have to do things again. I've made a decent job of that, now it's time to start moving again, start doing things.

I'm a different person to the one who used to put up the odd bit of writing and whine too much in the journals. I'm the same person too. Funny that. I don't know when I'll update this next, but it'll be sooner rather than later. It'll definitely be sooner than this was, I'm not going away for two years again. I'm going to write again, and typing this has given me no excuse.

I don't even know if the people who watched me are still around on here (clearing my Aegean inbox is my next task, guess I'll see then) but I thought I'd let everyone, and myself, know that I'm going to write again.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Whoah, sorry bout the rant earlier - if you saw it, that is.

long story short, I fucked up. I didn't go to school on the day that they were taking the leaver's photos, so I missed being in my year's one. That sucks a lot. Lately I've actually felt part of the year and it was going to be a great memento. I didn't realise that at all yesterday, so earlier today (another day I wasted) I had a horrible moment when I realised what I'd done. Then I went a bit crazy. Later, I pulled myself together a bit and moaned about it on here. Sorry, it's been a bad day.

Anyway, writing-wise, I'll be reworking the odd older thing at some point, and I plan to write something new for a nice teacher who asked me nicely. I've got plans for something, but I haven't got beyond writing a couple of hundred words on it so far; and after earlier I don't really feel like writing now.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I've started writing again. I've filled up a good eight pages or so of my notebook, three of some true stuff, and five with a bit of something inspired by the history i've (not) been doing lately.

not sure why i suddenly started again, but it feels good to get back to it, even if the timing is completely wrong. can't say i've hit a new low, i've been here before, but i feel like life's taken a turn for the worse lately, and this writing lark is a good distraction. trouble is, i was supposed to be writing a 2000 word coursework essay, or making physics notes on work i missed, or catching up on maths, not drafting fiction. been a strange few weeks really.

i barely scraped through those exams i had, it could have gone a lot better. i stopped sleeping completely, didn't revise properly and when i took maths i'd been awake for over 24 hours, had trouble focusing my eyes and could barely walk out of the exam hall afterwards. now, for some reason, after literally torturing myself to get through the AS exams, i can't focus on my a2 work, just when it's getting (even more) serious. it's weird, i've got all this work to do but i can't seem to focus on it. it's stupid, i need to get to uni, and a levels are the only way. i ought to be working more, especially since i have no idea what i want to do at uni, which means i need good grades to keep my options open.
it's a problem. i hope i'll be able to get out of this low mood and be able to do something about it soon, but i don't know if i can, just feel worn out. i feel like i'm in the last chance saloon and i can't remember if i fired six bullets or only five, and i don't feel that lucky. that was a horrible mess of a pop culture reference, sorry. it made more sense before i typed it out...

anyway, back on topic, i've started to write again, i've got the start of a couple of promising looking drafts, so i ought to have something new to show you lot sometime soon.

sorry for all the rambling and moaning, i'm tired and stressed. anyways, new 'deviations' soon, even if it is ironic slapping that title on the one thing that seems to come naturally to me. well, that and uber-procrastinating. bloody PROCRASTOR using my own mind against me...
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Hey, just adding to the masses of seasonal journals currently clogging up your inbox.

I had said I wouldn't go on a computer on Christmas Day, but I've just been to Midnight Mass, so I'm still awake and it doesn't count. I'm kinda looking forward to the books, comics, manga and games I'm about to get, but at the same time I'm worried they'll make me mess up my revision. Oh well, c'est la vie...

Anyway, enough rambling. Hope you have (or had) a great Christmas wherever you are and whoever you're with.


Will


*EDIT*

Whoo! 2am on Boxing Day! My eyes hurt so much.... 8 volumes of manga in seven hours. It was so awesome, and so worth it! Only problem now is that horrible "I'll never get to read more Trigun!" feeling, but that'll pass.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured

Devious Journal Entry by Judge-Tempest, journal

I'm coming back. Sort of... by Judge-Tempest, journal

Devious Journal Entry by Judge-Tempest, journal

Devious Journal Entry by Judge-Tempest, journal

Merry Christmas! by Judge-Tempest, journal